UK Terrorists Adopt 'Mental Retard' Strategy in New Attack Attempts

In an surprising and strange change of tactics, it appears Al Qaeda is playing the 'retard' card by deploying previously unknown mentally-challenged terror cells in the UK. After one group successfully parked two cars packed with gasoline, propane and nails - but no detonators - in busy London streets, another cell out-bungled them by setting fire to their Jeep Cherokee and driving it into Glasgows international airport. One terrorist was said to be ablaze and the fire had to be extinguished before police and passers by could give him and his accomplice a good kick-in.

The new terror threat is said to be chillingly unpredictable by police. "If the terrorists themselves are unaware of what they're doing until they've done it, what chance do we have?" said one official. Prime Minister of 4 days Gordon Brown sees plenty of mileage in these recent events, though and immediately placed the country on a 'critical' state of alert. His newly appointed Home Secretary was meanwhile busy, apparently putting the final touches to furniture arrangements in her new London office.